Father’s Day
6/20/201

As it turns out for me, likely for many of you as well, I have grown up to become very much like my father. For some, that’s a good thing, while for others - maybe not so much. Our parents have more influence on us than we realize - and often it isn’t until later in life that we realize the good we took from them - as well as the bad. 

My Dad was a working man - that was his life. He supported a family of 5 in Southern California on a mechanic’s salary - something that seems completely impossible. My dad and I bonded over baseball and auto racing and things of that nature, but he did not have a ton of time because he worked so much. He instilled in me a stellar work ethic and sense of responsibility, and raised me with a pop culture sensitivity that was way before my time. I grew up a child of a decade that came and went before I was born, and now I listen to classic rock music, watch old movies and shows from the 60’s and 70’s, and do a whole lot of things the “old fashioned way.”

Being a dad today - or a grandfather - or an uncle - or any other kind of father figure is a little more complicated than it was in our household. Dad used to be in charge - he ran the family, and he did so with the needs of the family at heart. Now we find ourselves in an age where we are supposed to challenge the patriarchal control paradigm and weaken the authoritative positions of men - or really anyone in authority, and as a result, fatherhood is being placed in an ever-shrinking box.

It didn’t used to be this way. We got here because of our sinful nature. So many fathers strayed from what it meant to be a Godly father, and children were abandoned, abused, neglected, and devalued. The bond of encouragement between a father and his kids - son especially - is not viewed as being as important as it used to. In fact, the concept of a Godly father is something that has become so foreign to us that we need a refresher.

Get ready - I am about to tell fathers and grandfathers and uncles and father figures everywhere what to do. I am going to tell you how you are to do your job. I am going to lay out some guidelines and say with confidence that if we are doing things this way, we are probably doing it wrong. However, I do not say these things to tear down or insult, but rather to show us the places where we could be enjoying more Godly intimacy with our kids by centering our relationship on God.

What makes a Godly father? The first answer is this - be a Godly man. This is outlined for you very simply in the Old Testament, of all places, and is not part of the law. This is what we are called to as children of God: “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8. Act with justice, love kindness and mercy, and walk humbly with God.

This is the recipe for Godly living - whether you are a father or not. This applies to all people all the time - this is what the Christian Life looks like. However, we can take from this verse and others some other aspects and actions that make a Godly father. Here are 5 things that describe a Godly father as outlined in the Word.

• A Godly father loves God, and it is obvious

A dad has the responsibility of teaching his children - even long after they are no longer children. We learn the most by what we see modeled in a person rather than what they say, so a Godly father follows the commands or Matthew 6:33 - “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all of these things will be added unto you.” This Godly father will recognize that his help comes from the Lord and not from himself.

A father’s relationship with God is key. If you do not have a right relationship with God - the author of all relationships and the model for how we should relate to each other - it is futile to think we will have solid relationships with others. This Godly father will spend time with God, and his Kids will see it in him.

We cannot run away from God - even though we want to sometimes, especially when we are young. A Godly father can be rock - not just an example of fatherhood and protection, but also a source of security for us in life. He shows us that there is no peace for anyone who runs from God, and he does so through regular obedience as a matter of course.

• A Godly Father Loves his Wife, and it is obvious

Most men believe that love is, at its essence, sex. While that certainly is a part of love it is not all, or even most of what love entails. Ephesians 5 tells us exactly what it means to love our wives - real love seeks to meet all of the needs of another person - even when it is not convenient for you.

Romance does not make you less of a man. Open the car door, pull out her chair at dinner, hold her hands and help her make dinner. Your wife’s love language is likely different from your own. Learn to speak it and learn to understand it.

Your sons are learning from you how they should treat ladies. Ladies are learning from you how they should be treated, and they are often told that they are forever secondary to men. One day their marriage relationship will in no small way reflect the one they grew up in.

• A Godly father loves his children, and it is obvious

Love is more than simply providing their survival. Do not miss your child’s childhood - there is no second chance at childhood. However, when discipline is required, a father must do it, but he must do it in love. Colossians 3:21 warns us not to provoke your children lest they become discouraged. At the heart of that is the truth that we are to encourage our kids rather than tear them down.

The greatest way to show your children love? Spend time with them. Spend time that is about them and not about whatever you are multitasking. Whether you are taking or just sitting together or working on the teardown of a motor top ten list - your kids love you, and they want you to love them. Time with them shows them that they matter more than anything else. 

• A godly man is a man of integrity, and it defines his dealings with others

This takes us back to that first verse for all of us on how to be Godly in general - Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly. A man has to be who he is - when he begins to behave differently depending on where he is, problems arise of all sort. Yet, what is the example we have of men taking positions of authority? “Integrity” has become almost a forgotten word. The highest elected office in our land is tainted with the smell of corruption and the president himself has a notorious reputation as a liar - regardless of who is in the oval office.

A member of the president’s cabinet commits suicide rather than face scrutiny for his financial dealings. Whitewater used to mean a good place to go canoeing instead of a political sewer. We are called to rise above that and be men of integrity. It should permeate every area of our lives. In the workplace; an honest day’s toil, in the home; fulfilled promises, in personal business; prompt payment of obligations, in other relationships; commitment to fulfill my commitments. My father is a man of integrity, and I benefitted more than I could ever describe as I gained much of my ethic ground from him.

• Finally, a Godly father shapes our vision of the Heavenly Father.

The image of a father nowadays is not always a good one. Over half the children in America grow up without a father in the home. Often abandoned by their father or the father is maligned. Sexual abuse by the father is on the rise. Then, we tell the children that God is their Heavenly Father! Small wonder that they are afraid of Him. God help us! Dad, you are shaping your child’s concept of his/her Heavenly Father. They see him through the lens of who you are to them!

The Word of God is challenging you to be a godly father today! Will you be a godly father to your children? As you look around the world and see the tearing down of ideals and morals and our very hope, will you answer the call and not be a part of the problem? I know that I certainly have much to consider if I am going to commit to being the Godly father that seems so much more mysterious and far away nowadays. Let’s pray.