Evangelism - Conversational Engagement
October 10, 2021 Sunday Evening Study

Last week we talked about methods for starting conversations and asking questions in such a way as to be able to establish enough of a connection to keep the conversation going. I mentioned that it seemed a little clinical - almost like a sales tactic.

So most of you know that I drive a bus for Macon. I drive one special ed kid down to Columbia and back every day - 250 miles, 4 hours a day. With the student is a paraprofessional - an attendant that takes care of the student while I drive, because He has special needs. That is actually the Job that Eleia works at Macon, but she is not the para on my bus. The para on my bus is the one male para employed by Macon. On the way back in the morning and on the way down in the afternoon, it is just me and the para, no student. That means, 2 hours every day, 10 hours a week, we are each other’s captive audience.

Now, we are both guys, and so for much of the time, we keep to ourselves, because that’s what guys do. And that suits me just fine, because I like to pray while I am driving - God sort of has me captive during that time as well. But sometimes, he and I will talk about things. This week, he was aware of much of what was going on with Eleia because he works in her department, so we would talk about that. I was talking about how I was struggling with juggling everything here at home without Eleia here. I had a debate on Tuesday night, and he asked me about it, because I was complaining that I had to argue a position that I do not agree with.

So I explained the ridiculous theological conundrum we were debating and the ridiculous position I had to defend. He then told me that he studied for 2 years to be a Catholic priest. Really? That I did not expect. Suddenly, there was a connection. We talked for almost 45 minutes about his experience in the church and why he left. It turned out that he had really only been doing it since his parents wanted him to, and after the corruption in his particular parrish, he said he’d never set foot in any church again.

The next day, we are driving down in the morning and I am complaining about my debate - my team did not do well, mostly because they did not understand how to do formal debate, and I was, and still am, worried that it will be a group grade and not necessarily based upon my individual contribution, because I did most of the research. In any event, we got back onto his belief system, and he told me that he believes that every church is a cult. I asked him what he meant, and he said that no church has stayed true to the real truth - we are all offshoots of the original. So I asked him who was the original, and he said catholicism.

Here was my chance to do exactly what we were learning. So I asked him questions - did he believe the Catholic Church held to the same principles as originally? What about liturgy and language changes? What about the counter reformation of the catholics? What about recent scandals, etc? I gave him the opportunity not to necessarily defend catholicism, but to share his opinion as someone who was not actively a part of the church. He then decided that all religions today are cults - even Catholics.

So I asked him - ok, so what now? How do you respond to that? He said that He would try to follow Jesus and forget everything that everyone says about it. I asked him how. He would pray. I asked him about the Bible, he felt unsure. We ended the conversation there. SInce that time, we have had 3 more discussions, not as deep or as lengthy as the first 2, but each time he will tell me that he thought about things and maybe was not 100% right, or he would thank me for listening to his unpopular opinions without judging him. Friday I asked if he would be willing to check out a church ever again - even one that wasn’t Catholic. He told me he’d think about it.

In the span of a week, he went from never setting foot in a church again to considering checking out our church. All I did was ask questions and listen. When he would ask me stuff I would answer, but for the most part he talked himself into the position where he is now. Maybe there is something to this stuff. I had another encounter like this this week - which I will share later when it pans out a little more, but it is amazing to me to see how God is calling me to use these skills we are learning - right now, as we learn them.

Asking Real Questions in a Non-threatening Way

Remember that there are a lot of people who find the Christian worldview to be offensive in general - specifically because we believe in absolute truth and absolute morality. These two things have somehow become very personal for people - to a point where we infringe upon their values simply by disagreeing with them. As backward as this may sound, it is reality now, and so we must be careful when approaching spiritual matters, usually beginning with low-key dialogue to engage.

I will admit that I did not follow this rule particularly well with my para friend, but fortunately for both of us my approach suited his personality, and he engaged fully. So that is the caveat here - these methods we are discussing are not the one-stop shop for evangelistic success - sometimes we have to adapt to the situation and the personality of the person to whom we are witnessing. We need to ask questions which will do the following 3 things:

• Surface uncertainty or doubt about their own position
• Minimize their defensiveness
• Create in them a curiosity to hear more from your perspective

Surfacing uncertainties while not creating defensiveness is incredibly difficult. How do you subtly poke holes in an idea without it being obvious what you are doing? It takes practice, and guidance from the Holy Spirit.

To make progress in this way, consider how we know we should speak to a loved one when we are having a disagreement. We cannot sit and simply point out every little thing they say or do that does not make sense to us - that will cause them to become defensive and push away from us emotionally, as well as intellectually. Instead, we express our major concerns, highlighting those areas that seem most important to us and hope they see that as well.

In the same way, when we are witnessing, wisdom will often require us to focus on a few key aspects or areas that we might want the other person to just think about on their own. We cannot simply unload a truckload of theological errors on their part in one shot.

Former Jehova’s Witness David Reed made this statement - “A person can close his ears to facts he does not want to hear, but if a well-crafted question causes him to form the answer in his mind, he cannot escape the conclusion, because it is a conclusion he reached himself.” I believe this is why my para friend keeps coming back for more discussion.

In a nutshell, pre-evangelism looks like this: listen carefully to them and learn their story, and hear the logical inconsistencies or gaps in their beliefs. Ask questions about those beliefs that will shine a light on those gaps without causing them to become defensive, and allow them to discover the issues in their own minds and start overcoming any barriers they have to the gospel.

Once we have done this and have gained trust from them, we begin to build a bridge to the gospel. Our ultimate goal is to help people to remove the obstacles in their own lives that keep them from embracing the gospel truth - pre-evangelism paves the way, direct evangelism speaks the truth in light of what they have already discovered for themselves. Am I ready for direct evangelism with my coworker? Probably not, but I will be open to it if the opportunity arrives sooner than I expect. In the meantime, I will continue to talk to him and listen and engage in spiritual conversation until he makes a move or seems ready.

Some of the great things about this approach are these - it is more effective with those who are skeptical of hypocrisy because it allows them to draw conclusions about their own faith within their own mind. We don’t have to be especially well-versed in apologetics or theology in order to be effective. You will find that the places where people need course correction are much less complicated than you think, so you will likely not have to argue so much as clarify.

This approach can be used with any person at any time, because we forge connections that may not have existed. This can be with friends, strangers, or coworkers, in my case. We use this method the same way we used tracts in the past - at first it would seem as though we were reading a script, but with practice we use our own personal communication skills, and it becomes more real and more genuine. Next week we will talk about some of the approaches to this conversation based on the person we are and the person to whom we will witness.