Evangelism - 4 Conversational Types
October 24, 2021 Sunday Evening Study

At the State of Colorado, we were not allowed to talk about our faith. In fact, we had to agree to a code of conduct which prevented us from talking about any number of subjects unless we were first asked - the idea was that people would be unable to evangelize, but more important, there could be no political lobbying for anything that could bring any criticism on the government administration we supported. I was not allowed to talk about my faith unless asked by someone else, and even then, we had to be circumspect. Yet, there were two things that proved effective even in that situation.

One, I kept a guitar in my office. This began when my team was a team of one - I always had a cheapo electric guitar in my office. When I found myself on long involved conference calls where we were waiting on major issues to be resolved, I would pick up the guitar and mindlessly practice scales to try and build muscle memory. But that guitar was always there, and always visible, and I was the only one around with a guitar. Everybody wondered about it, and a lot of people would ask. Usually the people who actually asked were people I didn’t know well or at all.

Two, I didn’t use swear words. This sounds simple, but this was government, and the language was basically a cesspool. As my team grew, the first person I hired was also a Christian, and for 2 years people knew that we did not swear. 

Those were my two tactics, and here is what came of them. The guitar brought questions - mainly a single question - “Do you play in a band?” Then I could say yes, I lead a band at my church. They would almost always want to know about the music, the instruments, which church, if they could hear us, etc. This led to one of our software engineers visiting our church and his entire family getting saved. I didn’t lead Him to Christ, but the guitar started the conversation. It also led to another coworker moving to our church and becoming a part of our small group ministry - someone I am still in contact with today.

The lack of swearing was a funny thing. At first people looked at me funny. After a while, people started to watch their language in my office - without me ever saying anything. Then they watched their language around me or anybody on my team, regardless of where they were. Pretty soon, if someone used a swear word around any of us, other people would ump all over them for it. We never said a word about it - we were just known as a team with respect and integrity, and people wanted to be a part of it. When we would be at conferences and things, people would often open up to me about personal problems - people who were barely acquaintances, all because I didn’t use swear words.

These two things attracted different people in different ways. Some people could care less about a guitar, and many are not even going to notice the language I use in the office unless they are looking for it. These two things led to different types of conversations based on different personalities, and any book on influence, sales, leadership, or evangelism will tell you about specific people-types or types of conversations you can use to your advantage. In our book Conversational Evangelism, the authors call out 4 major types of conversations we want to have with our unbelieving friends. These are: Hearing Conversations, Illuminating Conversations, Uncovering Conversations, and Building Conversations. We will talk specifically about each of these types, but each of them is vital to this conversational evangelism model. 

As it happens, each conversation type requires us to play a specific role to help drive the desired result of the conversation. The book mentions these 4 roles - the musician, the artist, the archaeologist, and the builder. As the musician, we want to listen carefully, learn the story, and identify the sour notes people are singing to us. As the artist, we want to paint a picture for the person through asking questions that will help them to see themselves in a truer light. We want to clarify beliefs and surface uncertainties. As the archaeologist we want to dig up the history - find the real barriers that are holding them back. FInally, as a builder, we want to build a bridge to the Gospel by finding common ground, building a bridge, remembering the goal, and transitioning to the truth of the Gospel message. We will spend a week each on these roles, and it will help you to understand the different parts of the conversation leading to the Gospel message.

The Musician - listen carefully, learn the story, identify the sour notes.

Why is this so important? We cannot understand the place from which a person is coming to you unless we are able to determine the meanings behind what they say and what they ask. It can be easy to quit listening as we begin to plan how we will present the monumental good news to them - it is a bit of an occupational hazard. As is true with any type of communication, as the musician, we need to focus our attention on learning to be better listeners and hear others clearly. James 1:19 - “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

This is especially true in a postmodern world, because often people of different faiths are not especially loyal to their faith, and many do not even understand what it is their actions proclaim. On college campuses we have students who identify themselves as Christians or as Muslims, yet when pressed, do not show any resemblance to what either of these faiths are supposed to believe. Sometimes people are attracted to the political leanings and affiliations and never learn the core faith. Others still are frustrated, like a Vegas cab driver who told me he was a Christian. When I asked about the Buddha statue on his dashboard, He told me he didn’t believe that Jesus was any better than Buddha, and the statue comforted him.

Even more disturbing is when people use Christian terminology to mean something quite different from the faith as we know it - listening becomes key here. As Christians we state that Jesus is the Son of God and is our Lord and Savior. A Jehovah's Witness will proclaim the same thing, yet according to their own writings, what they mean is that Jesus was created as Michael the archangel, and He is second in command of God’s visible organization on earth. He gives us access to earthly paradise if we do as the organization instructs.

A Mormon will also agree - even going so far as to state that they too are Christians. Yet what they mean is that Jesus was born from a physical encounter between the Heavenly Father (whom they claim has a body of flesh and bones) and the virgin Mary in the same way that normal human children are conceived. By “only begotten” they mean that He is the only child of a physical encounter with God.

As you can see just from these examples, not only is it critical that learn to listen well to the overall statements of others, but we must really begin to listen for their own distorted version of the “christianese” language to determine what they really believe. We cannot make the mistake of reading into their words what we want them to be saying and therefore allow them to miss the point entirely.

A good practice in this area is the art of reflection - reflecting back what others say to us by paraphrasing what they say and then asking them if we understood them correctly. Sometimes just hearing their own beliefs spoken out loud by another will plant a seed of doubt.

Hearing is a crucial step in pre-evangelism for other reasons as well - this role of musician serves multiple purposes. It helps us to better connect with others, as people feel appreciated when their opinions and concerns are shown legitimate value. It helps to put a person at ease - if you are genuinely trying to understand them rather than combatting their points, they are more likely to let down their guard and engage in honest dialog. Finally, we build a rapport with people the more we allow them to express themselves, so that when the time comes for us to engage, they are more open to our questions, even if they sense a hint of skepticism behind it. We have the conversational currency at that point to at least keep it going.

This is a very critical role, and it is going to take another week as we investigate how to identify and handle sour notes when they appear, so our next session is going to focus on the musician role as well. This week, I want you to think about the sour notes from your life - the things that you had to relearn, or at least understand better before they reflected the harmony you have in your life. Do you still struggle with these things? How would you advise someone else in the midst of their struggle?

Let’s pray.